When I started my job I remember being very excited every morning to get to work. However, these past few months all the changes that have been forced upon us by COVID-19 have dwindled all that excitement to almost nothing. For the longest time, I have been functioning on autopilot mode. For a moment I almost forgot what being excited for work felt like.

This past week I’ve felt more motivated than I have for the better part of the year and it has definitely made me feel like a different person.

Being home for the most part of the year, not interacting with people you are used to, pay-cuts, feeling anxious more times than you’re used to… all this at once is definitely enough to take a toll on any human being and it takes time to get used to it, or at least just accepting it. I chose to accept that this is how things are in 2020 and it is not within my control. Nonetheless, the few things that are within my control have been enough to get me off the rut I have been in. Slowly but surely.

Gratitude

To be honest, easier said than done. It was difficult to be grateful especially when it felt like everything around me was going in every other direction other than up. At least the stuff that felt important to me at the time. I had to learn to look past all the “important” stuff to realize that there were some things around me that were going up, and staying up for that matter. I only had to present enough to notice them and focus my energy and time on those things. It did take a lot of effort because it is easier to brood over current circumstances than it is to notice the little good things that I’m so used to that they become insignificant when they actually are significant.

Family, friends, clean water, books. movies, good food, pets… anything that seems normal to you is something you should be grateful for. Make a list of at least 2 or 3 things every day for 21 days. They say that’s how long it takes to form a habit.

Doing things in my own time

Being home more than usual had a bright side. I got to spend more time by myself which meant I’d hear myself more if you get what I mean. I realized some of the things I did were because of other people, their influence, approval, going with the trend… Shutting all that out and just doing me for a while has actually made me discover things about myself… or rather create things about myself that I like very much. I even took a break off social media because it started feeling like some competition of “who is the most productive”, “who works out the most”, “who eats the healthiest”…at least for me anyway.  It’s very liberating to get rid of all the “noise” and just listen to yourself.

Live a day at a time

This doesn’t mean I ignored the future, though I didn’t worry about it so much because worrying wouldn’t make everything better. Worrying about the future that isn’t there yet would make me not see the goodness of the present. Very zen-like but  very true.

I’m finally looking forward to the end of the year and the beginning of another year.